I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
