Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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