Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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