Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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