I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize