i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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