Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
