Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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