Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there is puke in my bra ... again
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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