She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
