How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
