Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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