Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
