I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
