its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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