just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
