K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
