ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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