I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
only you would photoshop your dick
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
