i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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