Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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