chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
