Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
