sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
