He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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