you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
