He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
