you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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