we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
