If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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