how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
