she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
