Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
