Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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