She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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