i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
