He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
