she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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