So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize