Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
