I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude. I can hear the air.
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