Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
