kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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