she woke up with a sticky ear
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
