goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
