the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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