so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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