So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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