I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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