I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i think my cat just said my name.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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