Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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