she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
