At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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