you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
