Don't you send me to vm
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
