My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
